The Oz/Anya correspondence
by Phantom Dennis
Summary: An exchange of letters between two charachters that never got a chance to interact.
1. Letter from Anya to Oz.

I posted this ditty to the OzMIA group.  
  
http://www.onelist.com/community/OzMIA   
  
I got such a good response. I decided to post these two letters here.  
  
DISCLAIMER: Oz and other BtVS people belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and 20th Century Fox.  
  
Warning Contains Spoilers for: Bargaining and AfterLife  
  
This takes place before All the Way  
  
Leter from Anya to Oz  
  
Dear Oz:  
  
Remember me. Anya Emerson formerly Anyaka, vengeance Demon. (Technically, It's Jenkins now. I changed my name to keep those Watchers from pestering me. Pretty soon, I hope to be Anya Harris, but I'll get to that.)  
  
I'm engaged. Xander proposed. He even gave me a ring. Which I can't wear because he won't tell anyone. He's been giving such excuses. Everyone's under a lot of stress now that Buffy's dead. That excuse was wearing thin. So I agreed to Willow's madcap plan to raise Buffy. The girl is getting way over her head, if you ask me. Personally, I think you're well rid of her. And I usually take the female's side. Anyway, me, Xander and Willow's pet sheep (You know who I mean. I swear the girl reminds me of Harmony before she became a ditzy vampire.) performed a spell that brought Buffy back. Willow killed a baby deer. (Willow thinks I don't know this, but we don't stock deer blood and Willy's doesn't stock it either. Besides the spell calls for fresh.) Willow coughed up a snake. (At least she didn't cough up a rabbit. That would have freaked me.) And the spell worked. Unfortunately, we didn't know it at the time because we were running for our lives due to Biker Demons that were chasing the Buffybot. So, Buffy come alive in a coffin 6 feet under. (I tried to point out to Willow that this would happen, but Miss I Know Everything wouldn't listen.) Anyway, I knew she'd be alright. I mean vampires dig their way out of coffins all the time and Slayers are stronger than vampires. Of course vampires don't need to breathe.)  
  
Anyway, Buffy dug herself out and saved the day like she always does. But Xander STILL won't announe our engagement. Seems he's waiting Buffy to adjust. (You know, I don't think we pulled Buffy out of hell. I've got a lot of experience with demon dimensions and Buffy doesn't act like someone's been there.)  
  
But pretty soon Xander WILL announce our engagement. If necessary, I'll withhold sex. (They always make that look so easy on television.)  
  
  
Anyway, why I'm a writing you. Xander needs a best man. He does not want to use Spike and Giles is going to give me away. I suggested that since Willow was his lifelong best friend that we put her in a tuxedo and have her slick her hair back. But Xander wasn't keen on this idea.  
  
  
1. So my first question is will you be would you come back and Xander's best Man?  
  
2. Have you resolved your control issues? Willow will be at the wedding, and I'd hate to have a bloody massacre my big day.  
  
3. I also need a maid of honor. Xander suggested Willow, but we don't get along. Ever since we ressurected Buffy, Willow is more full of herself than ever and now beleives she can do anything. (Amy's still a rat by the way.) Now that's she's back from the dead there's Buffy. But we've never been particularly close. The same goes for Willow's pet sheep. I like Dawn even though she has a crush on Xander, but she's more flowergirl material. I would've asked Buffy's mom Joyce but she had to die on us.   
  
Anyway, I was thinking asking Cordelia. I know she has past history with Xander but so does practically every other woman I know. Cordelia's wish is the reason I'm trapped here in this mortal body. She's the reason I'm marrying Xander. And I really got along with her at least until I started dating Xander. The trouble I don't think Xander's entirely over her. I realize it's been years and Xander doesn't mention her name half so often in his sleep as he used to. But they had such a dynamite chemistry and I'm afraid if they were reunited they'd just ignite. What should I do?  
  
4. What do you recommend serving at the wedding. I like shrimp but Willow's pet sheep is allergic.   
  
5. Can you provide music? Your friend Devon tells me the Dingoes haven't been the same without you.  
  
6. You wouldn't get mad if you found out your cousin Jordan contracted his Lycanthopy beacause your uncle Ken had been fooling around with his secretary Paige. He promised to leave your aunt Maureen and then baby Jordan came along. Naturally, when Paige was left high and dry, she was very much the scorned woman. I wish she hadn't decided to blame the baby, but I'm limited by what the scorned women wish for. So is this going to make you mad? At me? I mean It was your uncle that cheated and it was Paige who made the wish. If you're going be mad. Please stay away.  
  
7. If you feel you can't pick out a gift, send cash. Cash is always good.  
  
8. If Willow should decide to go Ann Heche, and ride off with you into the sunset, I wouldn't mind terribly. But watch out for Sheepy. I get the feeling behind that "Oh Willow, that's so wrong" routine, that she's the real black mage. 


	2. Oz Replies.

This is my own sequel to A Letter from Anya to Oz.  
  
  
  
Dedicated to AMZ, as she asked me specifically to write Oz's reply.  
  
DISCLAIMER: Once there was a guy named Joss who created a show called Buffy the Vampire  
Slayer. He made a mess of things when some his best talent left for a spin-off  
called ANGEL. Unfortunately, a legion of adoring fans have so swelled his  
head, that he can admit to doing no wrong. The deed to these shows is held  
by 20th Century Fox. I also mention a character from a show that I believe  
is owned by Warner Bros.  
  
  
  
Dear Anya:  
  
Congratulations. I hope you'll be able to announce your engagement soon.  
  
I was saddened when Xander told me Buffy had died. So it's good to know  
she's back, even under these circumstances.  
  
1. I think Xander needs to ask me himself. Also unless I have plenty of  
notice it may be difficult for me to get away. You see things have changed  
since Xander wrote last.  
  
I was just getting by. Trying to perfect my control and not doing much  
else. Sort of a Transcendental Slacker, if you will. The one thing blocking  
control was I didn't know what I'd do with it, when I got it.  
  
That changed September 11. Anya, I know you're over 1000 years old and  
have probably seen and did all sorts of horrible things. But, growing up  
on the Hellmouth had given me a blase attitude. I thought I had seen it  
all. I was wrong.  
  
I was living in upstate New York with my Sansei, an cop turned Shao Lin  
priest, when he got a flash. He felt the "disturbance in the force" so  
to speak and so we headed toward Manhattan. We didn't know what it was  
at first until we turned on the van's radio.   
  
One of the reasons Pete was such a great mentor to me was his personality.  
Although, he was raised in a ShaoLin temple, he was separated from his  
father for many years believing him dead. During these years he developed  
street smarts and was eventually adopted by a police officer.  
  
He grew up to become a cop until he was united with his father who encouraged  
him to recover his ShaoLin roots. As such, he's a good blend of East and  
West. Also, he's by nature a more temperamental person than I am.   
  
Perhaps that's why I didn't get as much help from those monks in Tibet.  
I had trouble dealing with my anger with how the Tibetans were treated  
by the Red Chinese. I guess I'll never be Richard Gere.  
  
Peter Cain is not by nature calm and even-tempered. His own struggles to  
keep a lid on his temper I think have been helpful to my control issues.  
So oddly the fact that he had a hard time checking his anger at the devastation,  
was very comforting to me.   
It was difficult to find our way to the site. You could see the burning  
for miles. But roads were closed and everything.  
I had to Park the Van several blocks away and we walked. Pete apparently  
had some acquaintances on the NYPD from his cop days and they let us help.  
While Pete assisted the Needy, I attempted to sniff out any survivors among  
the rubble.  
  
This was when I had my epiphany. The hijackers were living to die. They  
were already dead, seeking death as a release. And I knew I too had been  
like that. There were others giving their lives that day but they were  
dying to live. The firefighters put their lives on the line, many ultimately  
losing them to rescue people to save lives. Hundreds of firefighters gave  
their lives to save thousands of people. There were what 19 hijackers,  
and maybe some them didn't even know the full plan. I think those numbers  
say a lot.  
  
It was then I found my focus. I guess it was the biggest burning bush of  
all time. I said my goodbyes to Pete and signed up for FDNY. It's been  
tough going and very stressful, but I found my true calling. I can use  
the wolf to help save lives. Maybe someday, I'll be a weredalmatian. OK,  
forget I wrote that.  
  
But as you know the fire department is very shorthanded right now. So I'll  
need advance notice to get the time off. But if Xander wants me and I can  
swing it, I'll be there.  
  
2. I'm 98% sure. Have a trank gun handy just in case.  
  
3. I really can see how you and Cordelia would get along. I wouldn't advise  
asking Cordelia without talking to Xander first. If you're really worried  
that there's still something unresolved between Xander & Cordelia, then  
you need to confront it.   
  
You realize that if Cordy agrees I'm going to have be there. I mean there  
are some things that you just can't walk away from. Oh, maybe it's just  
me but that Vampire Willow thing (which I believe you were responsible for)  
was the first time Willow every questioned her sexuality. (Which makes  
sense, when a girl spends most of her life lusting after one boy, you tend  
to think she's straight. Strangely enough, the Vampire Willow seemed mostly  
interested Xander in too. I don't know why being interested in Xander is  
supposed to make you gay. I guess it's a good thing I have no interest  
in Xander.) At the time, the only girl I thought she showed any attraction  
to at all was Cordelia. Like I said this should make things interesting.  
  
Oh, when you talk to Cordy, tell her I'm sorry about Doyle. I really hadn't  
heard what happened until I ran into Detective Lockley in NYC. (Tell Angel  
she's fine.)   
  
4. I've always been partial to Crab Puffs myself. Maybe you should have  
some Kosher delicacies just in case Willow is in a Kosher mood.  
  
5. I don't know. I'm still saving Money to get a new guitar. Currently,  
I'm playing a trombone in the Fireman's band.  
  
I don't know about a Dingoes reunion. I don't want to get Devon's hope  
up. I remember the last time I was in town. I wanted to hear the words  
"Never Leave Me." Just not from him.  
  
6. OK. No. I mean you were just doing your job. I guess. But it makes  
me want to smack Uncle Ken upside the head. How could even think about  
leaving someone as cool as Aunt Mo. You know sometimes I wish she was my  
Mother.  
  
It's almost oddly fitting that my problems are rooted in lust and betrayal.  
Like a biblical curse.  
  
7. My funds are a bit tight right now. I know Xander. He'd love a FDNY  
cap. I guess that wouldn't appeal to you, though. I think I can swing  
a $25 gift certificate. Tell me what store you'd like.  
  
8. Uh, OK. False Hope is bad for the soul. I really didn't get a good  
chance to evaluate the blonde girl. What's her name by the way? I think  
it had something to with Gone with the Wind. Ashley? Bluebell? Topsy?  
  
  
By the way, tell Buffy I said that Willow wouldn't have been allowed to  
pull Buffy out of whereever she was, it was if she didn't have a reason  
to be here.  
  
From what I hear, Faith's in prison and the world still needs the Slayer.  
I know what it's like to lose heaven. I know what it's like to feel life  
is hell. But you need to find your strength in the people who are alive  
because of you. Maybe only then can you be at peace. 


End file.
